There are days, like today, when I wake up and I have no appetite for God. I can tell I’m wandering through the desert right now, but it happens. Perseverance is key. I have to choose daily to love God and choose to follow Christ’s teaching- far from perfect, of course, but I try my best. When I fall, especially when I fall gravely, I have to remind myself that God’s mercy goes far beyond my comprehension. Pope Francis reminded us to “never forget the Lord never gets tired of forgiving us. It is we, who get tired of asking for forgiveness.” This reminds me of my most memorable confession.
My priest asked me to meditate on the seventh and ninth Station of the Cross. For those who may not know, the Stations of the Cross are the points of Jesus’ passion. It starts with Christ’s trial, the events leading up to the cross, the crucifixion itself, and ends at his burial in the tomb (14th station). Any who, the seventh and ninth stations mark Jesus’ falling under the weight of his cross the second and third time.
We can see the humanity of Christ in this moment. God, made man, and his body failing him. I can just imagine the blood dripping down his face, robes torn, the weight of the cross digging into his flesh, and yet, I can imagine a slight smirk on his face as if to say, “My body may fail me, but I can go on. I’m not finished yet.” It gives me so much hope. My patron saint, Maximilian Kolbe, once wrote, “My beloved, may every fall, even if it is serious and habitual sin, always become for us a small step toward a higher degree of perfection… If we knew the depth of our poverty, we would not be at all surprised by our falls, but rather astonished, and we would thank God, after sinning, for not allowing us to fall even deeper and still more frequently.” Like I said, that was definitely my most memorable confession because I was like sobbing afterwards.
(Photo Credit to my godmother)
So, no matter how far away or how empty you feel, remember, he’s always beside you. You just need to pray. Offer it up. For me, Eucharistic adoration (and communion of course) give me the healing and strength that I need to combat life’s troubles. Whenever I go to adoration I think of the words of Saint Josemaria Escriva, “When you approach the tabernacle remember that he has been waiting for you for twenty centuries.” How amazing is that? How intimate and how beautiful the thought! God is good.