“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”
― Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude
There are so many times in our lives when we feel completely directionless. What school should I go too? What should I major in? Will I find a job after school? How am I ever going to pay back my student loans? These questions bring out the reality of time and life itself. We’re not getting any younger and the harshness of life can really knock the wind out of you at times, but it’s in those moments, in that grasping for air, we are reminded that this is not our home. That bitter heartache and distress we may feel is that reminder.
With age, the only thing we can hopefully realize is that God is in control. He exists outside of this linear time line that we are bound too by our sins. Our journey may be hard, but we are not alone. His sacrifice, that echo of love, resonates in everything. God is present through every heartache. He catches every tear and is there during every moment of our lives. He is even present in times of indescribable suffering. He’s there in every kind word spoken by a friend and in every embrace. If you can’t see God in the midst of your heart ache, I suggest that you step back and consider his sacrifice for you. During his passion he endured the weight of the worlds sin. Life isn’t about comfort, it’s about seeking God in all things. It’s discerning the question, who is that man on the cross to you?
Dear Leila 